Ever struggled with doing the right thing because the cost is great? The payoff is not always for ourselves, but for sometimes it's for someone else. Share that story to give hope to someone else in the same struggle.

Luke 22:39-46

New Living Translation

Then, accompanied by the disciples, Jesus left the upstairs room and went as usual to the Mount of Olives.  There he told them, "Pray that you will not be overcome by temptation."

    He walked away, about a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed,  "Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will, not mine."  Then an angel from heaven appeared and strengthened him.  He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood. At last he stood up again and returned to the disciples, only to find them asleep, exhausted from grief.  "Why are you sleeping?" he asked. "Get up and pray. Otherwise temptation will overpower you."

Acceptance

I remember that dreadful Halloween night four years ago.  I never really liked Halloween, but this year it was a nightmare.  My oldest son, who had spent a good part of his teenage years experimenting with drugs, hit rock bottom.  He had asked to be admitted into a psychiatric hospital just a few days before Halloween for fear that he was going to hurt himself.  I couldn’t believe what was happening.  

I became numb – robotic.  

But the reality was that everything was not fine.  I was scared.  I felt alone.  I kept waiting for God to “fix it” because I was a Christian and I believed He would take care of it.  Then, that gloomy Halloween afternoon, a song came on the radio that I had heard once or twice before.  It suddenly had new meaning to me.  It was “He’s My Son” by Mark Schultz.  I broke down and cried for the first time since my son had been admitted.  I couldn’t stop crying and repeating the words “He’s My Son” over and over again.

I heard a voice say “He’s My Son. I gave him to you.”  I shouted at God as loud as I could “I want him to come home!”  That’s when it hit me.  Through the tears and the uncontrollable sobbing I came to the realization that God (his father) may want him home – His eternal home.  I began to pray with real feeling for the first time since this nightmare began – on my knees with face to the ground.  I remembered the story of Abraham ready to sacrifice his only son at the alter as his sacrificial lamb to God.   Abraham trusted God that much. He knew that God had a plan for his son. At that moment I knew that He had a plan for my son as well – a plan to prosper not harm him.  I stopped sobbing and I lifted my head high and said “not my will but Yours’ be done.”  

My son returned home just a few days later.  I would like to tell you that everything was fine when he got home.  But the reality was that the struggle had just begun. His angry outbursts, and lack of motivation to do anything nearly drove me crazy.  He dropped out of school and pretty much dropped out of life.  He would sleep all day and stay up all night watching television.  He consumed a weeks worth of groceries in one day and literally ate us out of house and home.  I turned off the cable and the house phone.  He chose to live on the street for days at a time. When he got tired of that he would jump from friend to friend.  He would occasionally come home to start fresh.  He tried hard, but relapsed often.  At one point I lost contact with him for over a week.  

Now, every time something begins to trouble me I simply release it into the hands of my Father God.  I can’t describe in words the confidence He gives me when I do this.  By accepting that He knows what’s best it takes the burden of responsibility off me.  My only responsibility is to do my best to allow Him to work through me. It is so comforting for me to know that Jesus did not want to suffer the way He did.  He asked God to “take this cup of suffering.”  But He ended it with “Yet I want Your will, not mine” (Luke 22:43 NLT).  In this one line of scripture Jesus has defined for us the true meaning of courage.  Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather, the action we take in spite of our fear. When I sit and pray I tell God exactly what I want in a situation and then I tell Him “Your will be done, not mine.” I can’t explain it.  I can only tell you that it’s like a weight is lifted off my chest every time I do this. It’s because I know that when you ask God to take charge I know that I am being taken care of by the ultimate parent. 

Both of my sons have enlisted to serve our country. I continue to lean on God during this time and believe that he will again bring them safely home.